Who doesn’t want a good friend in life, especially if it’s a friend you can fall back on.You would surely want to enjoy the company of such a friend.However, being a good friend isn’t always easy. A good or real friend is like true love in your life, because it’s so precious to you. Isn’t it?Good friendship is a special interpersonal relationship. It is a treasure that you can possess, but you need to make efforts for that.As they say, friendship is a two way street. So if you want a good friend, you first need to be a good friend.Now, the question you might ask yourself is how to be a good friend?Isn’t it ironic that you always try to look for good friends, but you rarely consider being a good friend yourself? Well, some of you perhaps do, but some of you don’t – isn’t it? We hope this post helps all of you become better friends.
So,here are some simple tips that will help you in it.
- Focus on the good in people.
None of us is perfect. We all have traits that make us difficult to live with. It’s easy to focus on what is difficult. Instead, look for what is good and strong. If you do catch yourself focusing on negative aspects, remind yourself that you too have faults.
If you look at ancient Buddha figures, they usually show a serene smile. It’s a kind of visual teaching, because when we smile, we become mindful and step out of our preoccupation. No matter how you connect with others, remember to smile. Whether you’re connecting face-to-face, or via Twitter, email, chat, Skype, or phone, your inner and outer smile will be felt by the person you are connecting with.
- Let Go of Grudges.
Do you stew over how others have treated you? It can be difficult to release yourself from negative thoughts about how someone harmed you or made you unhappy. Such negative thoughts are corrosive and will harden your heart. So let them go and focus on the beauty of the present moment instead.
- Be a Positive Mirror for Others.
If you want to be a friend to someone, make sure you let them know all the wonderful things you can see in them. There is a lovely poem by Galway Kinnell that talks about this:
… sometimes it is necessary
to reteach a thing its loveliness,
to put a hand on its brow
of the flower
and retell it in words and in touch
it is lovely
until it flowers again from within, of self-blessing.
This poem shows us what it is to be a good friend. We need to reteach our friends their loveliness–in words and in touch.
- Be Helpful.
The key to creating lasting friendships is to think about what you can do for friends. They key question is: what do they need? For example, a friend of mine recently lost her father. At a time like that, help is important. So I’ve been cooking meals for her, just to make things easier and to let her know that I care.
- Be Kind.
My aspiration in life is this: kindness is never out of place. Mind you, we don’t always manage to live up to it. But that’s the nature of aspirations–they are the stars by which we navigate our lives. Though they light up our path, we can never reach them.
- Be Grateful.
It’s easy to take friends for granted. But if you want to strengthen your friendships, do the opposite. Think of your friends with gratitude. And then express your gratitude to them in words and deeds. Everyone loves being valued.
Do these guidelines match up with the ones you follow? Of course, you can change them to suit you, your way of life, values, and priorities.Remember that you don’t need money to be a good friend, nor should you measure your friendship with being rich or poor.Good friends are made irrespective of your culture, religion, or the place where you live. It’s your personal values, thoughts, and actions that make you a good friend.