Way to Deal with Your Child's Anger



Way to Deal with Your Child's AngerDo you get angry? Just like you, even your children can get angry, and that is very normal. In fact, all kids should get angry cause this is healthy to feel your feelings,but never let those feelings overwhelm you.If you can help your children identify, explore, and express their emotional state,this will help them ease their angry outbursts.When a child gets angry, you do need to fix their behavior but not their feeling. Most parents try to deal with the child’s emotion first cause they feel that’s what’s causing the bad behavior.

As a parent, you should help your child to solve the problem by knowing from where his or her feelings originate – the thinking that sparks the emotion. Focus on what triggers the whole problem.

“Anyone can become angry. That is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way… that is not easy.” ~ Aristotle.


What Should Parents Do When Kids Get Angry

Parents need to consider the anger of their children like an alarm, and not ignore it. They have to identify the reasons behind the anger.The best way is to clear the picture in your children’s mind by helping them remove the misconceptions, and find ways to lessen their anger.You shouldn’t try to keep your child from getting angry, cause anger is a natural human emotion. So, let them know that it’s alright to get mad at times.If children are getting stopped to become angry, it will make them into unhealthy adults who don’t know how to handle and accept their feelings.They will suffer from guilt and won’t be able to make out what hurt them.Never forget this could be that your child’s anger is unjustified, deliberate, or a learned behavior from friends or peers,but don’t jump to conclusions and don't forget that such behavior could occur due to biological and other reasons too.Your child needs to know how to handle the anger appropriately,cause some times it could turn out to be quite violent.
Also, mind that your child is a person with real emotions just like you, so handle him or her with care.A Child need to be told that aggression in the form of hurting, pushing, hitting, yelling, or throwing is not right. Instead,you may tell them the right way to deal with their anger.A lot also depends on how parents express their anger and how they teach their children to deal with the anger.Remember each child is different and so is the way to deal with them when they get angry.When angry feelings aren’t resolved, it can lead to health, stress, and behavioral problems. There may be a possibility of it becoming a part of their nature.Parents should spend quality time with their family where there is enough time to discuss and share feelings, so that they can deal with the situations like when their kids get angry.This is our responsibility as parents to teach  children the limits and the right ways of expressing anger.However, if things don’t go as expected then you may get into the damage control mode, rather than reacting outrageously to create more damage.


What Not To Do When Your Children Get Angry

Being parents it is never easy to keep calm when your kids get angry and are ready to throw tantrums.However there are  few things you can do to deal with angry children.


  • Don't ever challenge or yell at your child when they angry or don’t listen to you. This only makes you lose control. Instead, stay calm, and come back to the issue later.
  • Don't get physical with your child when they angry. Instead, pay attention to how you react when they get angry. Always mind they are learning from your behavior all the time.
  • Don’t try and reason with child when they angry or in the middle of a tantrum or outburst. This is surely not easy but possible.
  • Don’t lose your patience and take things personally. Instead, work with your children to make them understand the real reasons of their anger.
  • Try to handle younger kids differently than the older ones. Never freeze up or isolate yourself when your children get angry.Though this is tough, but it never really works. Instead, reach out and talk out things with them.
  • Try to give your children consequences for their bad behavior, but not for the anger. You should never make the punishments harsh ones. After all, you are teaching your children how to manage their anger.
There are many reasons why kids get angry. Sometimes they are frustrated, irritated, can not figure out something or get upset when another child takes something that belongs to them.Sometimes they get angry when they are getting taunted by peers or if they are anxious, afraid, hurt, feel isolated or lonely and if things don’t go their way.

Whatever may be the reason, as parents it is need to know how to deal with children whenever they get angry. We should help them to find ways to express their anger in a positive way.

Ways to Help Your Children Learn to Express Anger Positively

Help your children identify their triggers when they are calm and try finding out the root cause of the problem.


Some anger busters for children when they get angry are:


1. Be a role model – As a parent if you are angry, express what you would do or behave so that your children follow you.


2. Understand their pain – Try to be sympathetic and connect with them when children get angry. Talk about a time when you were a child and how you got angry, and how your parents dealt with your anger.


3. Be respectful – Don’t get physical or call names when you are angry and never encourage your children to do the same. Try keeping calm in all situations.


4. Remain positive – Instead of challenging them and saying, “Don’t you throw your toys,” say, “Once you put the toys on the room, we can go out and have ice cream.”Show them the way you wish them to deal with the anger.


5. Make them understand how to express their anger – Give them words they can use, like, “I know you are sad, frustrated, or disappointed. But everything will be okay.”Let them have time to deal with their anger.


6. Divert their energy – You need to redirect their energy when kids get angry.If they can’t get away from a class, perhaps they can close their eyes and do some deep breathing – show them more of such ways to deal with their anger.Explain your child the positive ways like painting, jumping, skipping, running, swimming, or anything that keeps their minds away from anger.



7. Give time – You should give your child time to cool-off by going for a walk, reading a book together, or even alone.Also, give your children the option for venting their feelings. Tell them that they can always come to you, or share their feelings with their best friend, or a special person in their life.


Later discuss calmly what made your child angry and guide them for the next time.


You might say that most of what mentioned above is easier said than done,but once child understand that their anger is baseless and invalid then it would subside gradually – they are able to cope with things.Never  forget to pat their backs when their behavior is good, which most of us forget doing – isn’t it?


Also, don’t forget to love your children, more so when they angry they will listen to you more.If they see you are loving and friendly and really intend to help them they will definitely respond back.

“Accept the children the way we accept trees—with gratitude, because they are a blessing—but do not have expectations or desires. You don’t expect trees to change, you love them as they are.” ~ Isabel Allende




Remember the time when you were a child and got angry. How did you deal with your anger? As a parent, what ways would you suggest to deal with the anger of a child? Share through comments.

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3 comments:

  1. This is a very good post, especially because we have a 13yr old and he doesn't know why he gets crazy sometimes..

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  2. Great post. I am working with my 7 year old and how I can manage his anger. Talking helps a lot just to find out what the issue at hand is. If we are both angry and yelling, the issue will never get resolved and we are both sitting there with pouty faces.

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  3. Great tips for child care! My part time job is teaching and I love teaching, I learnt a lot from your post. Thanks!

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